The Destruction of New Year Resolutions

Oh the things I was going to do this year! I was going to exercise daily, eat at least one piece of fruit each day, and most importantly, send out monthly status letters to clients.

Thanks to the brutal cold and other dead-of-winter realities, I'm finding that the exercise resolution is more a dream. Knowing that it is too cold to run outside right now and too dark when I get off of work to bother anyway, I set my alarm clock for "early" this morning so that I could work out to a DVD in my apartment. I woke up "early" but snoozed through to "late" thanks to the below-freezing temperatures outside of my thick blanket of blankets. Except for the quick run from my door to my car and the intense yet involuntary shuddering which was the result of my exposure to the frosty air, I am sad to report that no actual exercising was accomplished.

But that's okay. There's always tomorrow. In the mean time, I'm eating better, right? It turns out that eating at least one fruit a day is harder than I thought. I should have started last night, but I didn't want to eat fruit before bed. I'm not sure why, but it did not seem right. And everyone knows you don't eat fruit for breakfast unless you're having a big breakfast. Fruit on an empty stomach is not good. I barely got to leave the office for lunch, so I didn't make it to my apartment for that apple. And here I sit at night, already fat and happy from a soup and salad dinner. When oh when will I find the right time to add a healthy piece of fruit to my diet?

Perhaps the most insufferable disappointment is that I have not mailed out the inaugural batch of monthly status letters yet. To be fair, I have worked a total of two days, only 16 hours, in the new year. I have twenty-something more days of non-mailing before this project becomes a total failure. But I am discovering that this extra work just makes my stack of other to-dos seem taller. Because status letters are not urgent, I fear that I will put them off until next year by accident. Do you ever have that dream where you have forgotten something extremely important and only remember when it is far too late? I'm going to keep having that dream until I send these letters out. They are the monster under my bed.

After such a stress-free holiday, the real world is causing me to re-evaluate all these crazy "goals." Perhaps I need to give up a resolution or two. Tomorrow, I think I will eat chocolate all day, move as little as possible, and then, just maybe, get those status letters done.