Networking for Newbies

I am jumping in head first trying to become involved in local paralegal organizations and my own community. It sounds easy, in theory. Show up, meet people, organically meld with those people because you have common jobs, ideas, or goals, and then proceed to work together to make the world a better place. If only.

In two weeks I have four different opportunities to humiliate myself in a vain attempt to network and expand my social and business circle. I am right in the middle of this two week period. The first one occurred tonight, at our local Chamber of Commerce's monthly Business After Hours event. Every month, one business or organization belonging to the Chamber hosts a little shindig after the work day. Sometimes the host provides alcohol, from what I hear.

Let me begin by explaining that I have never been to a Business After Hours event. My Boss only recently had to explain to me that I can go to Chamber events because the business, not just he individually, is a member. So when this event came up and he mentioned it to me, I thought, why not? I'll go mingle, meet people, and eat free food. At least I was right about the free food.

Our tiny, rural town hosted the area-wide Chamber event tonight at the town hall. I can say in full honesty that the food was delicious. Someone had made scalloped potatoes or hashbrowns (whatever they were, they were covered in cheese and possibly sour cream) that caressed my taste buds with soft and smooth flavor. And the chocolate pudding... oh! the chocolate pudding! But this is where the comfort ended.

When I walked in, everyone was wearing a name tag. I should have found one and written my name on it, but I get horrible stage fright in large groups of people I don't know well, and I tend to forget common sense things. I hide it by doing silly and obvious things like walking around the room, alone, with my head held high, daring someone to accuse me of not knowing a soul. I could probably handle myself better.

When I saw two people I sort of know, I was drawn to them like a magnet. I stood by them making forced small talk through the door prize drawings, trying to think of witty and intelligent things to say. Wishing I knew them better. I saw many familiar faces as I glanced around, but no one I could say I really know. I was about to leave when I ran into the Town Coordinator. That is not her real title, but it might as well be, as she seems to put everything together. She urged me to return to the food table for more pudding and coffee. So I went back for a hot cup of coffee, I don't know why, really, perhaps because I was nervous and eager to please in whatever little way possible. That's when I ran into the Boss.

Now, during work hours, the Boss and I get along quite swimmingly. I bow to his authority and he, in turn, gives me great freedom. Or something like that. It's your basic casual work situation, and one of the reasons I like my job so much. But meeting the Boss in a social setting is... different. I find him to be an amicable person at work, so why wouldn't we have the same dynamic outside of the office? Of course, I ask that question as if I don't know, but I believe the answer is me. I am a completely awkward person when I am outside of my comfort zone. The office is my comfort zone. A Business After Hours where I know few people and the Boss knows everyone... Not so much. I wanted very much for him to introduce me to people, help break the ice in at least one conversation, something, anything. But everyone left after the door prizes anyway. And I did, too.

In a way, I'm glad the Boss doesn't do the introduction thing. It would be helpful to me, really, but I need to be able to handle myself on my own, without prodding from others. But I swear, in the moment, all I could think about was how sad and left out I must appear to everyone around. In actuality, I am probably the only one there who noticed how awkward and alone I was feeling.

After the After Hours event, I came home and readied myself for what would be my first live Paralegal Mastermind call with Vicki Voisin. I normally listen to the recording when she emails it out, but this week, I decided to do it in real time. If you are a paralegal, and you do not know Vicki, get to know her. Stop reading right this instant and make your way to the Paralegal Mentor website or her blog. Sign up for her newletter, her call, her classes, whatever you can. Then please come back and continue reading this post, and perhaps leave a comment that will make me feel better about having an awkward night.

Speaking of awkward nights, the Mastermind call is an interactive experience, where you can ask questions and make comments at various times throughout. Even via telephone, I had stage fright. I had to make myself press *6 to make the one comment I did, and I blubbered my way through it. But I did it. And Vicki graciously allowed me to self-promote Paralegalese, too.

I have two more possibly awkward, uncomfortable events coming up within the next week. The next one will be the Alabama Association of Paralegals, Inc. (a NALA affiliate) summer educational conference this weekend. I am looking forward to it, but I will not know one soul there. I expect I will be standing or sitting alone for much of the time, arguing with myself as to whether to approach someone for a conversation or remain set off, like a leper. I will force myself to meet people. And I will make silly conversation while striving to sound half-competent. I will probably ask weird questions. Or at least, they will come out of my mouth in a weird way. But I will expose myself to a greater community of paralegals in my state, and I may even make a friend or two.

Next Tuesday, I have been invited to the monthly meeting of the Baldwin County Association of Legal Professionals (a NALS affiliate). I expect to falter through introductions there, as well, and, since it is at a restaurant, a quiet and shy meal. But perhaps I will be able to coax my brave and confident professional persona out a bit to make a few friends and business acquaintances. Either way, I will be there, diving in head first to whatever awaits.

If you are able to pull anything from this post, reader, I hope it is that networking takes practice, that awkwardness is sometimes a necessary evil in order to achieve growth, and that if I can do it, so can you. If you are a new legal professional... if you are an experienced but shy legal professional... if you are in a non-legal profession, just get out there. Be awkward, be friendly, and most importantly, be there.

The Compliment That Wasn't

A very well-meaning person tried to give me a very nice compliment today. But, "You are too smart for this job", however nicely intended, still comes across as slightly insulting when the person you are saying it to loves the career she has chosen and finds her daily work both challenging and interesting.

I certainly understand why this person thought she was paying a compliment. After all, like much of the public, to her the lawyer is the smartest, highest educated person in a law firm. She sees the law firm as a hierarchy, not a team. To her, I am simply the lowest person on the totem pole at our two-person office. Likely, she was implying that she believes I am smart enough to be the lawyer.

While I appreciate the thought, it brought to mind all of the assumptions we tend to bring to the legal field. I wonder why we always, without fail, assume that the smartest person at the law firm is the one with the law degree. That line of thinking only further enforces the idea that any non-attorney working at a firm probably is not smart enough to go to law school. This is just not true. Many non-attorney staff members have very good reasons for not pursuing a law degree. My favorite one? That they do not want to be lawyers.

We all have our own reasons for this. While I enjoy the law, I do not want to work long hours for several years fretting over the possibility that I might not have a job after the billable hours report is released for the month because my senior attorney decided to cut half of my hours for a client she is friendly with, etc. etc. I don't want to hate my job. I don't want to fear for my job. I don't want to cower before the senior attorneys in a years long hazing process meant to break my spirit. I understand that not all legal practice involves these unfortunate occurrences, but the other option is to be a poor lawyer. I have a hard enough time being a poor paralegal; at least as a paralegal, I am 100% sure I will like my job because, well, I like my job.

Of course I've exaggerated the position of the poor associate attorney above. But the fact remains that the real reason I, and so many other legal professionals, choose to remain non-attorneys is that we already love our jobs. A successful law firm, much like any other business, takes a team effort. Everyone has his place. Like IT professionals, law office managers, and other paralegals, my job requires me to become proficient in areas where my attorney supervisor may not be so proficient. He should be the expert on the law, absolutely, but as I have said before, it takes more to run a law office than legal expertise. While I work under his supervision (as both my supervising lawyer and my boss), if he knew it all or could do it all, he would never have hired me.

So while I appreciate the intent of the person who complimented me today, I do not agree with her assessment. The job I do, and the way I do it, requires someone of my intellect, skill, and drive. I am sure a lazier someone with fewer brains and no higher education could muddle through the same job at my current office, but he would be half as effective and would probably find twice as many ways to screw things up. It takes someone smart and efficient to do it right. And even I, a certified, certificated paralegal with a B.A. in English, still make silly mistakes on a daily basis. As the #2 by default in our little office, much of my time is spent organizing and keeping things organized... I don't think they have a class for that in law school.

My main point is that if I love what I do, then I'm not too anything for it. Like Goldilocks with the Mama Bear's bowl of porridge, I find the paralegal profession to be just right.