My Screenplay Idea

The Boss: (In letter) Dear Client, we told you several months ago that if you wish to pursue your case, you'll need to move forward by a certain date. After that date, your claim might be barred.

[Time passes.]

Paralegal: Hello, Mr. So-And-So, please contact us at your earliest convenience, preferably before _________(date).

[Time passes.]

The Boss: (In letter) Dear Client, after ______(date), we may be unable to pursue your claim because it will likely be barred by the statute of limitations. If you wish to move forward, you must contact us immediately.

[Time passes.]

The Boss: (to The Paralegal) Well, we've done everything we can. Just let it go.

[The critical date arrives. The Paralegal is checking afternoon messages, and one of them is from the Client.]

Client: I would like to come in to discuss my case to get ready to sue these people. How about next week some time?

[Camera pans to Paralegal's face; fade to black.]

The Destruction of New Year Resolutions

Oh the things I was going to do this year! I was going to exercise daily, eat at least one piece of fruit each day, and most importantly, send out monthly status letters to clients.

Thanks to the brutal cold and other dead-of-winter realities, I'm finding that the exercise resolution is more a dream. Knowing that it is too cold to run outside right now and too dark when I get off of work to bother anyway, I set my alarm clock for "early" this morning so that I could work out to a DVD in my apartment. I woke up "early" but snoozed through to "late" thanks to the below-freezing temperatures outside of my thick blanket of blankets. Except for the quick run from my door to my car and the intense yet involuntary shuddering which was the result of my exposure to the frosty air, I am sad to report that no actual exercising was accomplished.

But that's okay. There's always tomorrow. In the mean time, I'm eating better, right? It turns out that eating at least one fruit a day is harder than I thought. I should have started last night, but I didn't want to eat fruit before bed. I'm not sure why, but it did not seem right. And everyone knows you don't eat fruit for breakfast unless you're having a big breakfast. Fruit on an empty stomach is not good. I barely got to leave the office for lunch, so I didn't make it to my apartment for that apple. And here I sit at night, already fat and happy from a soup and salad dinner. When oh when will I find the right time to add a healthy piece of fruit to my diet?

Perhaps the most insufferable disappointment is that I have not mailed out the inaugural batch of monthly status letters yet. To be fair, I have worked a total of two days, only 16 hours, in the new year. I have twenty-something more days of non-mailing before this project becomes a total failure. But I am discovering that this extra work just makes my stack of other to-dos seem taller. Because status letters are not urgent, I fear that I will put them off until next year by accident. Do you ever have that dream where you have forgotten something extremely important and only remember when it is far too late? I'm going to keep having that dream until I send these letters out. They are the monster under my bed.

After such a stress-free holiday, the real world is causing me to re-evaluate all these crazy "goals." Perhaps I need to give up a resolution or two. Tomorrow, I think I will eat chocolate all day, move as little as possible, and then, just maybe, get those status letters done.

Country Clients Are the Best

As I begin this post, I'm lamenting the fact that all the holiday goodness going on has kept me from posting as much as I should over the past couple of weeks. But here I sit, wearing an odd mix of comfy/work clothes, taking a time out before I finish sloughing off the work day, writing to give you, dear reader, a sense of what the holidays have been for me so far. Only then will I complete the transformation from WorkMel to PresentWrappingVeggingOutMel.

I basically want to take a moment to praise country clients. As a small town paralegal, I do not make a top bracket income. My firm does not have marble floors, we barely have enough room for our closed files, and sometimes my Boss walks around the office in his socks. (Though, to be fair, he does wear shoes to court.) My point is that we are not fancy shmancy or rich.

However, we are wealthy with good clients. Last week, as I was speaking to the clerk's office on the phone, one of these clients walked in the door holding two Christmas-tree-shaped platters full of cupcakes and cookies. One for the Boss, and one for me. "Ho ho ho," she said, before slipping back out the door, presumably to continue making the rounds with her homemade goodies.

One of our small business clients came by later with a basket full of canned deliciousness. Not your store-bought canned goods, either. I'm saying, someone picked these vegetables then spent all day canning them. We had pickled string beans, pickled okra, homemade tomato juice, homemade pepper jelly, and even a bottle of homemade blueberry wine.

By the end of the week, we also had a very pretty candle holder that I intend on sitting at my desk after the holidays, once the holiday decorations come down. (I'll have to sneak it off the Boss's desk first, though.) The two attorneys down the street, who get some of our referral business, even brought by a huge basket of gourmet crackers, cookies, chocolate and popcorn. 'Tis the season to eat, I guess.

And that's what we're doing right now. We divided the canned goods and each took them to our respective homes. I got the blueberry wine - cha ching! Everything else is sitting at the office begging me to eat it... and I'm trying. Aside from edible wonders, we've also receive countless Christmas cards wishing us well and thanking the Boss for his efforts in various cases.

We have the best neighbors and clients a law office could ask for. While receiving gifts is always nice, it is the meaning of the gifts and cards that gives me great joy. Every gift or card is the equivalent of someone saying, "You've impacted my life in a positive way, and I appreciate you." I'm not sure anything can beat that.

Now, off I go to finish wrapping those gifts.